hello啊各位看官们！

说个事，明天放假一天！

不过还是有正事要办的。

那就是回家荒野求生，阿不，祭祖扫墓。

祖宗保佑，明天不要下大雨……

祖宗：你要是这样办我真的很难保佑你啊！

其实以目前年轻人普遍的精神状态，穿女装也确实很常见……

不求祖宗保佑，但求祖宗原谅。

当初说好要光宗耀祖，现在只完成了一个“光”……

假如给你一天的时间和故人见面，你会做什么？

叔本华曾说：“为了解人生的短暂，一个人必须走过漫长的生活道路。”

而这漫长的人生道路里，我们学会了爱与被爱；有了一些无法被言说的情绪，有了羁绊，也有了遗憾。

「轻松一刻」清明特别档，来一起做一场平淡却美好的梦，在这个特殊的节日里，

带话题#给你一天时间和故人见面#，说说你思念的那个人吧~

给你一天时间和故人见面

你最想回到哪一天

近日，河南平顶山一小男孩给奶奶上坟后，偷偷藏了一沓冥币带回家。

孩子的母亲孙女士表示，儿子今年5岁，当天给奶奶上坟，结束后快到家时，怀里藏的冥币扎到他了，于是拿出来了，随后又从裤裆里拿出来一沓。

“他说奶奶花不完，要带回去给朋友分一点”，孙女士称当时感觉又气又好笑。

随后，她向儿子解释了什么是冥币。

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朋友：一时不知道该谢奶奶还是该谢你……

奶奶：这大孙子，我自己都不够花呢？

小小年纪就有了一起花钱的铁哥们，果然人类幼崽的世界还是过于美好。

等长大了就知道了，一起花钱的少，一起借钱的是特么真多。

都说有借有还，再借不难。

现在是肉包子打狗，有去无回。

怎么借你点钱，还搞得像我欠你的一样？

昔日的好兄弟，终究还是形同陌路……

试问，身无一人的时候，谁还能与我背水一战？

答：还有大爷。

大爷承受了他这个年纪不该有的重量。

栅栏承受了它这个年纪不该有的大爷……

果然是看得开，才能玩得嗨啊！

不过有的人到是看开了，但别把别人整自闭了啊？！

近日，天津有网友发视频称景区餐吧一售货员多次抠鼻屎后并未洗手，继续售卖甜筒。

拍摄者称，重点是她不洗手，也没有擦，抠了好几次鼻屎，感觉很不卫生……

好家伙，小商小贩竟然也这么与时俱进，九转冰激凌？

曹可凡：“你是故意保留的一些原味么？

售货员：只是想让你尝一尝咸淡……

正所谓，交友莫探底细，吃宴莫近伙房。

有些东西，可能真的是眼不见为净了。

但我可以选择性的不看，而不是彻底的瞎了。

做食品的你不洗手，这不是恶心顾客吗？

鱼：你特么越玩越花是吧？

谁能想到年轻人吃个饭的功夫，就享受上福报了。

这日子，真是越活越没劲头了。

分分钟看破尘世！

虽然大师看透了尘世，但是不代表大师没脾气。

能说出这种话来，你这是诚心给人添堵啊！

此时一位石家庄的网友路过：谁能有我心里堵？

近日，河北石家庄一女子带娃逛动物园喂猴子时，不小心将手机丢到猴山里面，当时联系园方进入猴山寻找没找到。

回家之后查看手机定位还在猴山，给手机打电话时，发现猴子会接通并挂断，觉得挺有意思的。

目前丢失手机还没找到，园方表示找到手机会联系自己，

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看吧，又进化了，都会接打手机了……

没准现在正在看手机刷视频呢……

就是不能说话，不然就告诉你手机在哪了~

这边建议峨眉山的猴子好好反省下自己吧，毕竟石家庄的猴子已经进入科技时代了。

感觉再努把力，就可以来上班了……

不过：

上班是必不能上班的，这辈子都不会上班的。

景区里的饭又香，地方也大，来景区看热闹的游客个个都是人才，超喜欢在里面的！

事实上，景区的“人才”确实不少。

近日，贵州黔西一男子景区游玩头被卡石头缝里，像极了悟空和五指山。

好友：最后被消防员解救了。

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这应该不是“不慎”，是故意的吧- -

谁闲着没事去钻那玩意啊？

又不是属1的……

说到底还是胆子大，敢把景区当自己家。

这胆子确实很大……

既然已经钻进去了，那么请遵循四大名著之西游记的流程吧。

就是想问一下，悟空压的是五指山，请问大哥压的是什么山？

只能说还好有同行的人，不然真的就是五百年后的事了哈。

景区深受启发，连夜加工，直接变成网红打卡点！

男女合照，一个悟空，一个唐僧。

连夜賺了上百万设计费…

果然，每一个洞的存在都有它的意义……

近日，安徽淮北，女子一觉醒来屋顶被风吹走。

视频发布者宋女士表示：自己当时在睡觉，睁眼看见房顶被风吹没了，正在下雨，自己家的房顶是铁皮，预计损失五千左右，以后再也不住这种房子了。

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这，看到这一幕的时候真的原谅我有点笑不活了。

我只能说睡眠质量真好，房顶没了都没醒……

老天让你关上一扇门…必然给你开个顶……

可能浪漫就是来的这么猝不及防，露天影院也不过如此了。

不对，这是“封闭影院”。

睡个觉的功夫，旁边孩子都会打酱油了。

当家徒只剩四壁，你应该庆幸，还好墙在，不然跟睡大马路一样……

所以说人只要乐观，家里屋顶都是可调节的！

不过我寻思再乐观，也不能乐到乐山大佛头顶上去吧？

近日，四川乐山，乐山大佛景区内有一女子爬到了大佛头顶打坐。

据景区的工作人员介绍，景区的护栏是做过加高处理的，达2米多高。

景区工作人员回应，目前，该女子已被安全带离，具体的情况正在处理当中。

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你这，让你去乐山大佛坐坐，不是让你去坐他头上……

当年的孙悟空都没你那么嚣张！

问题来了，她到底是有神论还是无神论？

说她不信吧，她来了，说她信吧，她又无视了。

人类真是一种矛盾的生物。

不过可以矛盾，但是可别太离谱！

近日，贵州黔东南。

清明节男孩随家长给奶奶扫墓，跪求奶奶保佑自己不写作业、不挨打并且每次都考100分。

后来，孩子母亲表示，清明节快到了，周日带着孩子去给奶奶扫墓，小孩子在那里烧香给奶奶磕头祈祷，小孩子比较异想天开。

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奶奶：我只是你奶奶不是观音菩萨……我有这能耐，也不至于让你来给我扫墓了。

孩子不懂事了吧，生前不省心，死后还这么为难奶奶……

当天晚上就托梦给你爸妈，给你吊打一顿。

毕竟没有混合双打的童年，是不完整的。

事实再一次证明：祖宗生前操心儿孙生计，死后责任更大保佑的业务更多……

好吧，既然这样，那压力就给到祖宗把！

今天的轻松一刻到这里就结束啦，咱们下期再见。

记得去圈子里参加活动哟！

带话题#给你一天时间和故人见面#，说说你思念的那个人吧~

给你一天时间和故人见面

你最想回到哪一天

生物人，真正的快乐是什么？

对你而言，这首歌是什么呢？

你就说它像不像人吧

出了这个表情

什么人身攻击？

打击乐器

春季里开花十四五六，六月六我看谷秀啊春打六九头

【惊呆】

尊重祝福

收拾收拾换个星球生活吧

半年后的员工福利不会是旅游东南亚吧？

细思极恐

48岁贾静雯这状态 !

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来，骗，来，偷袭

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大 学 生 离 谱 行 为 图 鉴 （@人类行为图鉴）

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如果是你，你帮还是不帮？

上期问：

一个简单的问题，如果只能选一个当老婆，你选哪个？

真的假的？

什么原则？你out啦

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